


Worries

by DragonsFeather



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 07:28:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsFeather/pseuds/DragonsFeather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosing Fenris in any way is one of Vlad Hawke's biggest fears... One event will make him confess this to the elf he loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worries

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Dragon Age 2 FanFic I wrote.  
>  _Words in Italic: Hawke's thoughts_

Silence. The air was thick and hot. It was hard to breath. The smell... so foul. It was familiar, one Vlad knew too well. Of flesh and blood, like out of a fight. He frowned. The smell was much stronger than usual, it was almost making him sick. It was not right. Fenris's mansion shouldn't be stinking like that. Last time it ever happened was when he first met the elf to help him with the mercenaries, six years ago. Ever since this event, it never happened again.  
The house has always seemed empty, save for the former slave... who seemed nowhere to be found.

"Fenris?" He tentatively called. No answer. Quickly, he moved toward the stairs, his eyes on the open door that led to Fenris's main room. The smell was getting stronger, and seemed to come from said room. He felt his heart starting to pound loudly. Something was wrong. Very wrong. "Fenris!"

Still no answer. He moved to the door and stopped. The room didn't seem any different from the last time he had been here... except for the tall man who was facing his back to him. A mage, judging from his robe and the staff he hold in his hand.

"So, here you are." The man said. The voice was familiar. He heard it once not so long ago. "Fenris had called for you... really, what a pity."

"What?" Vlad was confused. Frowning, he reached over his shoulders and grabbed his daggers tightly. "What are you talking about? Where's Fenris?"

"You know..." The man turned around and Vlad's eyes widened slightly. Danarius. Fenris's former master. "I never believed that Fenris could escape me forever. But he did think so... My poor pet shouldn't have tried to resist."

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Vlad didn't understand. The old mage had had his neck crushed. He wasn't supposed to be alive.

"Dead?" The old mage smiled unpleasantly. "You're underestimating me, champion of Kirkwall. Just like he did. But at least, I got what I came from."

"What...." The mage moved away and what Vlad saw made him froze in horror. Fenris lying on the floor... or at least, what was left of the elf. He had been partly skinned. His clothes were gone, his remaining flesh torn and ripped, blood pooling on the floor. Blood-covered white hair hided his face.

_No..._

"I invested too much on him." Danarius said, moving to the table where were sharp instruments and tissues... all covered by the sick crimson color of blood. "At least, his skin will be useful for..."

Vlad could barely hear the man anymore. He did not care about fighting or listening anymore. All he heard was his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He rushed at the elf side and gathered him in his arms, ignoring the blood that was now socking his armor. His face had many cuts. Vlad put his hand on the elf's neck, trying to find a pulse. Fenris's eyes were closed, but his heart was still beating weakly. He was alive.

"Fenris!" Vlad said, trying to stay calm "Don't worry, I'll save you."

"..." The elf didn't say anything, nor was he moving. His body was getting colder... The rogue tried to move, but found out he was incapable to. He was paralyzed. All he could do was staring at his dying love.  
He tried to open his mouth, but no sound was going out . If Danarius were still in the room, he couldn't hear him anymore. He could hear nothing but the loud beating of his heart. It was beating fast. Very fast. And so hard...

_Cold... so cold..._

He was frozen. Holding the dying elf, who was now moving his lips. Very slowly.  
One word.

"Hawke..."

Then, he just stopped breathing.

** *** **

"NO!!!!" Sitting up abruptly, Vlad exhaled and breathed slowly. He was sweating, the sheets of his bed entangled in his legs.

_My bed?_

"Master!" Looking up, he saw Orana, the young elf servant he rescued in the Holding Caves a few years back, and Bodahn opening the door and rushing in. Both were looking at him in concern.

"Are you alright messere?" asked the dwarf. Before Vlad could answer, he saw his dog Jep rushing in and climbing on the bed, whining in concern. Vlad wouldn't normally tolerate this, but right now, that was the least of his worries.

"We heard you screaming, Master." she said, frowning in worry "Did you have a bad dream?"

_A dream?_

He looked around and finally realized that he was truly in his bedroom, at his mansion. Sighing in relief, he wiped his sweating forehead and put his head in his hands. He now remembered. He had spent the day at the elf's mansion, for more reading session, and left earlier this evening, leaving Fenris with a new book. Yes, it was just a bad dream. None of what happened was real. The one he loved was in his mansion, and he was fine.  
He shivered slightly and put a hand on his mouth, as he remembered his nightmare.

_The sight and foul smell... Maker's breath, it had seemed so real..._

"Master?" Sighing, he looked up at the elf "Do you want anything? I know a soup that can warm you up."

"Oh..." he shook his head negatively "Thank you, Orana, but... I think I'll just take a walk outside."

"At this hour, messere?" asked Bodahn. "It's way past midnight."

"I know, but... I have to." Quickly, he stood up, still in his night pants. Jep barked and jumped around him, wanting to follow. "No, boy, you're staying here. Keep the mansion like a good dog."

Jep whined in disappointment, but didn't try to insist as his master quickly dressed up. Quietly, Orana and Bodahn left, leaving him alone. Wasting no time, it only took a few minutes before Vlad left his room, clad in his Champion's armor, his daggers firmly attached.  
It was only a bad dream. But he had to be sure.

** *** **

"Fenris?" As soon as he entered the elf's mansion, he started looking around for his lover, breathing in deeply. There was no foul smell. Only silence. The same silence he was used to when coming in this big house, but right now he hated it. Quickly, he rushed and ran through the room, running up the stairs. "Fenris! Are you there?! FENRIS!"

The door was opened and as soon as he went in, he saw him. Standing up from the table, where was the book he brought earlier, lightened by the fireplace that was casting a dim light in the room. The elf was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, questioning him silently.

"Maker's breath..." Vlad sighed in relief.

"Hawke..." The elf said "Is something the matter?"

"I..." The rogue shook his head, and smiled faintly. "No, it's nothing. Just passing by and making sure you were fine."

"Right. You come in yelling and you're... just checking?" Fenris asked, a slight frown on his face. Vlad knew he wasn't good at lying, and he just proved it."Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"No reason, it's just..." Vlad shook his head, rubbing his forehead. What a fool he was. Only a stupid dream and he burst in there, as if the elf's life was truly in danger. No matter how real the dream seemed to be, he was overreacting and he knew it. But the images and the smell still lingered. That was probably the worst feeling. The foul smell of death, something that shouldn't have been so intense, even in a dream.

Looking up, he wasted no time and walked toward Fenris. The elf didn't have time to react before Vlad hugged him tightly. He froze for a second before relaxing, putting his hands on the rogue's shoulders.

"Hawke..." he said after a few seconds. "Will you tell me what's wrong with you?"

"It's nothing."

"Do you think I'll believe this?"

"Can I hope you do?"

"Hawke." Vlad felt Fenris pushing hard and he looked down at the elf's face. He looked angry. More annoyed, certainly. "Stop it, and be honest."

Vlad stayed quiet, staring at the elf's green eyes. Such beautiful eyes. He'd never get enough of them. Whenever they showed anger, sadness or even hope... he just couldn't get enough. Right now, there was anger but slowly, confusion was taking its place. Vlad couldn't blame him. He wasn't the kind to stay quiet. He opened his mouth to say something, but ended up leaning and kissing the elf instead. He sighed faintly, relaxing at the soft feeling. Fenris tensed up again before relaxing and kissing back, holding on his shoulders. It felt as usual. Warm, soft... but it didn't last.  
After barely a few seconds, Fenris pushed him back again, his frown deepening as he backed away from him. Hawke's arms fell on his sides. He sighed very faintly, already missing the thin but warm body.

"Don't tell me you came here just for this." he said "What are you hiding from me, Hawke?"

"A bad dream." The answer was short and idiotic, Vlad knew it. Fenris raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "Right... Let me explain."

** *** **

"I see..."

For the past minutes, Vlad had told Fenris about his dream, the details and how realistic it had seemed. The sight, the smell, the cold... and the rogue didn't feel any better. Worst, maybe. It was unlike him to be so moved by a bad dream. He felt like a little child that needed comfort.

_I'm an idiot..._

"This is stupid." He finally said, standing up from the bench. Fenris just looked at him blankly. "I shouldn't have bothered you with this."

"Now, that was stupid." That certainly didn't help. Vlad glared slightly at him, but the elf stood up and continued. "Dreams come from our hopes and fears. Events that we cherish or try to forget but never manage to... Do you really think it only happens to others?"

"Fenris, what are you getting at?"

"You're allowed to show your fears, not to run away from them..." A frown passed over his face, but only lasted for a second before he turned around and looked at the lightened fireplace. "So, don't say that you shouldn't have bothered me. Weakness isn't always meant for others."

"... Fenris, I never pretended that I was strong. Why are you saying that?"

"Look at yourself." Fenris turned around. "You may be the Champion, but you're still just a man. Didn't you tell me several times that I didn't have to face everything alone? I never forgot that. It should be the same for you too. If not, don't say things if you don't even believe them."

"Fenris, that's not-"

"Your dream was foolish. Danarius is dead, I'm alive and... you're here."

Vlad stayed silent for a moment. He was used at wanting to stay strong, like he always had. He was used at being in charge, making sure that everyone was safe... being the eldest in the family, he had always wanted to look out for his loved ones, making sure to keep his own worries to himself. Old habits died hard. Only once did he allow himself to be weak in front of everyone... when his mother died in his arms.

_Death... if I had to loose Fenris too..._

"I want to protect you, though." He said and immediately regretted it. The elf was now glaring.

"I'm not weak, Hawke. I can protect myself." He said.

"That wasn't what I meant. I know you're a strong warrior, Fenris." Vlad said, trying to explain himself. "But I worry."

"What are you worried about?"

"That each time I come here, the house will be empty. That there will be nothing, but old furniture covered in dust... just an old house falling in pieces. Just memories, and nothing else..." He looked down at his gloves-covered hands, glaring. "I'm tired, and worried. About the future. You've been through a lot, and now that you're free, you-"

"Stop it." He felt Fenris putting his hands on each side of the rogue's face and making him looking up. He didn't realize that the elf was now standing right in front of him. Anger left Fenris's face, but his expression was still very serious. "It's not about myself, it's about **you** , Hawke. What are you really worried about?"

_I love you. I don't want to loose you._

"That you won't stay." He finally said. It was the truth. He lost his parents, Carver, the templars took Bethany from him, and he didn't see her ever since the Qunari's attack... if something were to happen to Fenris too, he didn't know how he'd stand it.

"I told you already. I cannot foresee a future without you in it." He said, leaning over so that his forehead touched the rogue's. "Nothing will keep me from you, Hawke."

_I love you so much..._

The right words. Comfort wasn't Fenris's strong point, but sometimes he just knew what to say. But then again, Fenris wouldn't say anything that had no meaning. Empty talks weren't for him. Honesty was.

"Right... " Vlad said, finding himself slowly smirking again. "And here I thought you would wish for a nice and quiet future. You enjoy living dangerously that much?"

"It's worth it if it's with you." Fenris replied. There was a smile on his face. It was faint, but that was enough for the champion.

_So much..._

Vlad leaned and kissed him, his arms finding their way back around the elf's thin waist as he pulled him closer.  
And this time, the elf didn't push away.


End file.
